Reason 36; Heaven Can Wait!

Why I Hate Being Fat – 217 Reasons ~ 217 Pounds


Abstinence Watch – Aiming for Goal Weight – 200 Pounds


Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. ~ Mark Twain

When my AA sponsor and friend, Jack R. was alive, may he rest in peace; he would often speak of his final destination – Heaven. He spoke with such reverie of his arrival to the Pearly Gates where St. Peter would be waiting for him with a bottle of his favorite liquor of alcohol. I imagined him so clearly in my mind that I did not doubt his intention.

I speak about my own final destination. In my conversation with the girl I love with all my heart, we speak about having our favorite dessert, German Chocolate Cake and a large glass of milk (whole for me and low fat for her) waiting for us at a restaurant. We do not have a particular or favorite restaurant because we like variety. We like to sit together in a booth on the same side since we are both madly in love with each other. We love the intimacy and closeness, this is one of the things we get to enjoy in recovery. One of the biggest miracles for me is to walk into a restaurant and be able sit at any booth without the worry if am I going to fit. Most of the time, I am really surprised at the amount of space there is between my now flattened stomach and the edge of the table. Wow! I don't have to sit at a table and chairs anymore.

While we speak fondly of our memories of eating our favorite dessert, it does not consume us and our thinking. We joke about it as if it can still fix our problems knowing that it really doesn't. It never will. The only thing it will do for us is kills us. Just like alcohol, I must treat this disease as if it a matter of life or death. It is and if I let it, it will take me to the gates of insanity or death. Recovery for us is that we know the food is out there, that our Higher Power is inside each of us knowing that we do not have to believe the lie! The lie is believing our obsession will fix or make our lives better. For today, I thank God for my abstinence and life!