Reason 33; Spiritual Awakening

Why I Hate Being Fat – 217 Reasons ~ 217 Pounds


Abstinence Watch – Trimming Down To Goal Weight – 200 Pounds


Soul-mates are people who bring out the best in you. They are not perfect but are always perfect for you. ~ Author Unknown

In realizing the many steps it has taken to become a spiritual being, I think about how has God worked in my life. I am grateful for the life He has given me. The long road, the transformation, the radical change in my physical, mental and spiritual being is thrilling and scary to look at. The change that came about is not without anguish, resistance and fear. Loneliness, the feeling of desperation, torment and the need to be perfect, self-supporting and needing no one immediately falls to the wayside the moment I surrender. But, surrender is not easy and forthcoming. It is a change within myself that I must accept people, places and thing as they are, not the way I think they should be. I cease fighting everything and everyone, including myself and God.

The moment I surrendered my need for a relationship was the moment I instantly felt alone. I had no one. The friends I had, the relationship I wanted did not exist as I wanted them. I had to get to know myself first before I really could get to know someone on a intimate level. I realized I had to grow emotionally, spiritually, and mentally before anyone could come into my life. I had to become the person I wanted to attract.

It has always been my method of operation that I try to second guess God. I try to maneuver my life so I may obtain the desired results. It never works out the way I plan. When I surrendered the need for me to have a relationship, I also decided to stop looking around the corner for her. I stopped trying to find out which girl God wanted me to choose. I stopped waiting for her and expecting her to show up on my front door step, so to speak.

My spiritual awakening came when the girl I love with all my heart found me. I had worked on myself, remained abstinent, did service and continued to live life. In order for me to learn how to be in a relationship, I must to be in one. I came to a turning point, to continue to grow and use what I had learned about myself I had to make a decision to let myself go and fall madly and completely ... I will love and have no fear!