Reason 25; From The Gutter To The Sidewalk

Why I Hate Being Fat – 217 Reasons ~ 217 Pounds


Attitude of Gratitude – Thank You God for the people who tell it like it is!


”We missed the reality and the beauty of the forest because we were diverted by the ugliness of some of its trees.” Page 50. Third Edition, AA Big Book

“From the gutter to the sidewalk.” It was long time ago when I heard those words uttered in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. It was what happened to an individual who through his drinking had become a bum living on the streets. Then through recovery his life changed from a drunk laying in the gutter to a functioning member of society. Then he walked on the sidewalk on his way to work passing by the same location he had laid before. That statement has remained with me ever since.

My professional life is in the gutter. I haven't done anything to help myself. If God helps those who help themselves, then I haven't done squat. I have never given the artistic side of my life a fair chance. I've been told that I have been taking very long detours, avoiding and refusing to be what I have said since the age of five – to be an artist.

For almost thirteen months, I have been working on my weight loss. My body has changed immensely, especially the last three months. I am at a loss in regards to my weight loss – I haven't lost a pound in those three months. I am stuck at 272 pounds. No matter what I do, I can't seem to move below that weight. I am very frustrated. It is not that my body hasn't changed, it has; but not to my satisfaction. It becomes really apparent when people tell you, you have lost weight. I ask myself – are they blind? Are they crazy? Why doesn't it show up on the scale?

The fact is that my body has changed. I went from when I started my abstinence, a size 58 inch waist to a 42. I stayed there briefly, less than three weeks when I fit snugly into a size 40 inch waist. Then I jumped to a 38 soon after that. What gets me is that I complained about using my newly purchased blue jeans once, maybe twice. I shouldn't have complained. Now, I am stuck at this weight in a size 36 inch waist. If I lose the rest of my weight, 72 pounds, will I become like the donut hole?


Abstinence Watch – Goal Weight – 200 lbs; currently 272