Reason 51; Life As It Should Be

Why I Hate Being Fat – 217 Reasons ~ 217 Pounds


Abstinence Watch – Day 16 to One Year


I never will understand all the good that a simple smile can accomplish. ~ Mother Teresa

I never thought I would ever feel or see the love in my woman's eyes. No matter what problems lies in between us, love will always prevail. It has been a rough couple of days, weeks and month working toward the changes in our lives. We want to be together, but we both have obligations that must be fulfilled before we commence on a life together. It is not that simple. We thought about “running away” but that would only mask the problems we have for a very short time. We often joke about eating compulsively; taking a bite of our favorite sweet delicacy, but that too will only hide our problems for a short while. Instead of having one problem, we will have two or more. It is not until we realize the amount of service that we do for each other, the gratitude we have for each other, the love God gave us that nothing (life problems) is worth “eating” over.

When I started my abstinence over eleven months ago, I hated going to this meeting that I go on Sunday mornings. I didn't like the people who went there. I hated the San Fernando Valley where it was located. I didn't want to go to the meeting, but driving over the hill to the West Side to Santa Monica two days in a row proved to be too much; especially when gas prices had sky rocketed to five dollars a gallon. During the time I have been abstinent amazing recovery has occurred to the meeting. They have seemingly recovered from the hopelessness of my negative thinking, which is a large part of the disease of compulsive eating. Now, I am Secretary of that Sunday morning meeting, which is now my home group. I sit in front row of the meeting in my usual seat when I am not Secretary and the girl I love with all my heart next to me.

I am Secretary for the month of May. I am honored at the privilege of having to sit next to the Speaker on stage. I look down at the front row, the girl I love with all my heart is sitting in my seat, with my (program) sister sitting next to her. Both of them smile at me. I can feel the love in their smiles as it permeates into my heart and through my soul. I can feel the presence of God when I look at them. The love that radiates from the girl I love with all my heart is one I have never felt. It is stronger than anything I have ever experienced. This is God because God is Love. The Love we share is a gift from the Almighty. Thank You God.